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Category Archives: Musings

Mirror Mirror on the Wall? Who is the calmest of all? Bring that internal change with Yoga and Meditation

International Yoga Day has gained so much attention worldwide since its conceptualization a couple of years ago. This is the time for all people who practice yoga and meditation to be united and celebrate the day! Yoga, often confused to be only an exercise to make you ‘bendier than your neighbour’, is also about cultivating a meditative mind. This meditative mind is what gives you the mental strength, a subject that is so often neglected and ignored.

I’m always keen to discuss mental health with people as this is so often taken for granted. In a highly competitive space, yoga and meditation are useful to bring a balance in the mind.

So often, we tend to miss working on the power of the mind while focusing on yoga and meditation techniques. The practice of Yoga to me is about creating new energies and working on existing ones while aligning our minds to make better decisions.

The mirror must reflect the person you aspire to be with a vision to go towards the path.

As an Indian fashion blogger, I get the chance to interact with women and men, many of whom are dealing with their own struggles and doubts. It is so necessary to be kind to people as so many are dealing with the problems we have no clue about. Meditation and mindfulness bring your attention to the current moment – here, we are cognizant about the situation and learn to weigh our thoughts before we speak.

The practice of yoga and meditation makes you take a look at your choices. If you’ve recently begun yoga or are practicing yoga and meditation, I’d like to ask you something.

  • Have you looked into the mirror yet?
  • What do you see?

So often, we are trying too hard, spending time criticizing others, our jobs, our friends, and so on. Meditation and mindfulness get you to look into the mirror and see yourself for what you are. You also learn self-acceptance is the key to most things in life. The benefits of yoga and meditation are so large, that you can easily skim through your problem-areas and learn to fix the situation to find better outcomes.

The mirror must reflect the person you aspire to be with a vision to go towards the path. The mirror must tell you to stop looking back – there is nothing there. Stop obsessing over the future. This mirror should show you your true self. One, where you accept yourself as a whole – yes, along with the tummy rolls, the imperfect body type, or the one who is yet to sort things out in life. On this note, I’m sharing a personal poem that I wrote.

We are all so busy with our own lives,

Wearing many masks, donning multiple hats,

probably living a life of lies.

In the race for life, we often forget to live,

Not realizing that we have so much to give.

If we give a little, how much more can we have?

A little more peace, a little more care?

We are so busy chasing illusions,

Pockets that remain filled,

But, our hearts are empty creations.

With not a care in the world,

nor the consequences that follow.

We are afraid to see,  

As everything seems so shallow.

So, what will the reality be?

It’s a time to rethink and realign,

To bring a change,

A change in self,

To start life again.

On International Yoga Day, I’d like you to make this change and be mindful about your life. You can choose any form of exercise you please. I love to use my yoga mat and stretch out to release all the problems I hold. I also love visiting the gym to get a different feel. It’s about using different areas to lend a new touch to your exercise routine. I personally have a strong preference for a clutter-free workout area as this gives me a feeling of contentment.

My Thoughts on the Yoga Mat

This International Yoga Day, I’d like you to think a little bit.

  • Focus on yourself – how can you make yourself better? What is your goal?
  • How can you help others?
  • What is the one thing that needs to change within you?
  • What’s stopping you from achieving your dreams?
  • When was the last time you honestly laughed till your stomach hurt?

Well, I can go on but I think you must be knowing what I’m writing about here. The benefits of yoga and meditation go far beyond the strength of the body, it’s the mind that controls it all. This International Yoga Day, I hope you reconnect with yourself to discover inner peace always.

Photographer: Hana Jade Hudain

Featured Image: Photo by Gesina Kunkel

 

It’s been a while! What started as a conscious move towards blogging for my professional life, that followed with a hurriedly put-together fashion blog (more than 10 years ago) with a free domain name resulted in something much more.

I’m going to be raw with you today.

Not every day was perfect. Not every day felt like I wanted to blog.

What matters is your consistent effort towards things you love without worrying what people will say or what the results would be like.

We so often forget to appreciate ourselves when we are worried about how the audience perceives us. As a blogger, there will be tons of people who will write into you and share their advice, suggestions, beautiful thoughts, silly comments, lewd ideas, and so much more.

What matters here? What you choose to pick and listen to while allowing the rest to fade away into the background.

As a Bangalore fashion blogger, I’ve had my share of ups and downs and I can only say one thing – believe in yourself, be kind to yourself, and pat yourself on the back every time you do something that is closest to your heart.

To the regular followers, I’m sharing the behind-the-scenes look and some photographs that did not make it for the final edits. From blogging to vlogging, it’s been so much of a learning experience.

Here I was wondering what pose to strike while Jade snapped a picture

 

Ok, stop the photos, I got to eat this!

 

Plently of shots taken to get a perfect one. This was one of those unused photos 🙂

 

 

Yes, there’s lots to be done. But, we often forget we are human and yes, some things do take time. So, take the time to pursue what you love to do. Find the things that excite your heart. Find that reason that makes you want to explore a fun side of you – one that is no longer dependent on anybody’s expectations, an area of your expertise that fills your soul with wonder, and fulfillment.

What goes behind each blog? There’s tons of work and not so much makeup. (Ha, ha!) Those who know me well are aware that I do not promote the use of heavy makeup and I am fine if my rawness is seen as well. If you consider it as a flaw, that is entirely your perception!

There is a lot of hard work, people being good to you, bad to you, but most importantly, it’s how you constantly work on your own thinking to face the camera even on days you don’t feel good about yourself. It’s about telling yourself things will be okay, and you are here rock.

 

Shounak’s editing skills. This photo was not used for the final blog

 

The weather changed again making the natural light a constraint for us

Today, I’d like to thank each one for believing in me i.e. my family, for supporting me (even if you don’t understand fashion), for always cheering me on.

I’d also like to mention some entrepreneurs behind these ventures and staff who were supportive in every way.

Lifestyle Mall at RMZ Galleria

Soch (Indian wear brand)

Dr. Jamuna Pai (Watch the Skin Lab video)

Cafe 60 Four

Staff at Global Desi, AND by Anita Dongre

Cafe Nosh

Women’s Web Team (Watch the video)

 
 

 

Am I gonna flip through the menu or order something?

 

I began to laugh here! Photo by Nitin Chauhan

 

Yeah, that was not a drink! It had food colouring!

 

Shounak’s creative expression through his edits 🙂
Mohua finds me in a comfortable frame, one of the first who worked her creative skills for the blog

Most importantly, I’d like to thank that one friend who always reads everything I write. 😉 Thank you so much for your suggestions!

 

Hey, there! I’m honestly sure many of you already have a long list of New Year resolutions. While some may not care about making any, others struggle to keep up with their resolutions as the months go on. Every year, we are often harsh with ourselves, almost chiding ourselves that we could have done better. In the world of perfect photos spread everywhere on social media, it makes things every tougher when you realize you haven’t honestly raised the bar for yourself.

Or, have you?

I have indeed mentioned perfect photos and being a part of the blogging world, I also use many social media platforms to reach all you people. I have to admit, there are days when I do not feel as confident as I should be feeling. I even question a whole lot of things I have done, my purpose and lots more. Hey, I think this is completely normal and it’s about keeping our thoughts in control when we question or doubt ourselves. I have some ways to get around these moments and I’d like to share them with you too! You can easily memorize this as your New Year resolutions list asap! 

Make ‘Loving Yourself’ a New Year Resolution for 2019

Be Kind

Yes, to others but firstly to yourself. You need to pause a bit and understand what you speak to yourself every moment. We have an inner critic in all of us. You might be looking in the mirror and thinking, “Am I too fat, or am I too thin?” “Why am I not successful?” What are all these things you keep asking yourself? We need to learn to be kind to ourselves and we need to motivate ourselves more with good thoughts every day. How about telling yourself, “You are beautiful and I love you” and stopping the demeaning chatter. Try it!

Stop Looking Behind

Ok, we all do it. There are days where you will often look at your past, wonder if you could have done things differently. You often feel the urge to hate yourself a whole lot more. What are you gaining from this? I know you must have not found a solution by looking behind. How will you take a step ahead without breaking these invisible barriers? I know that you cannot move ahead if you keep worrying about things and rather, you must focus on your goals to ensure you reach somewhere closer.  I’d like you to think what you can do right now rather than “what if I had done this.”

Work on a Vision

You might work full-time or might be running your own business. While every company has its vision and mission in place, you must learn to develop your own vision for career and relationship goals. I know this is not easy, but when you know what you honestly want, it makes things clear. At times, not knowing what you want is totally fine. Please allow yourself space to know yourself better. Do not worry what others are upto on Facebook or Twitter. This is about you and you are allowed to make mistakes, stumble, and discover your personality.

Your New Year resolutions will work only when you learn to put yourself first, stop with the self-limiting beliefs and learn to follow your goals with all the passion and hard work!

Happy New Year 2019

Love Yourself, Celebrate Yourself!

 

On the eve of the Indian Independence Day 2018, there are many thoughts that crop up in my mind. I have immense love and respect for our country and to those who protect the borders every night and day. So, we can take a deep breath of peace and chase our dreams, our aspirations and all that we desire.

As much as I love my country, I dream of an India where women and men learn to treat each other as equals. How often I have heard –

  • You are a woman, you should cook
  • You shouldn’t be roaming late at night
  • We belong to XX caste. Hence, we are superior.
  • Omg, you are a married woman, you shouldn’t be roaming without your mangalsutra
  • Oops! You are divorced. How can you even be happy?
  • Why are you wearing such a short dress?
  • Why are you dressed like a behenji?

All this makes me wonder. We have enjoyed our independence for all these years and may have taken many things for granted.

We think independence and democracy means –

  • We can say anything we want to anyone
  • We can easily judge people
  • We have the right to be interfering
  • We can dictate and define which tasks belong to a woman (and man)
  • We can tell women (and men) what they should do or shouldn’t be doing in their personal and professional lives

How liberated are we? Are we still in our comfort zones where we see everything through our rosy tinted glasses? Do we honestly think our independence has given us the right to behave the way we want and do anything to anyone, destroy public property, and force our opinions upon others?

As we celebrate India’s Independence Day, can you truly say we have respected this independence and are mature enough to behave with integrity? 

I know many friends who are still struggling to find a life of their own. Afraid of what people will say, they continue to live a life that is diametrically opposite to what they want. They are stuck in meaningless relationships. Doing work they hate. As a society, we have defined so many unwritten rules that people often wear a mask to cover their hurt, pain, despair.

Are we liberated or are we still controlled by the shackles of the mind? 

This Independence Day, I’d like to hope that our minds are open to being more accepting towards others. We liberate our thinking and be more compassionate. This Independence Day, I hope we take a step to be the proud Indian we should be – one who knows the value of this democracy and treats everyone with respect.

It’s not impossible. But, I believe the change begins with one person. That person is you.

What have you done differently this Independence Day? I’d like to know!

 

Yoga – like it or not, is definitely a buzzword in today’s time. The International Yoga Day or the World Yoga Day is celebrated all over by fitness enthusiasts. While complicated asanas form the central focus on Instagram-worthy photos, some things are often missed in a rush to perfect the complicated pose.

Yoga is not just an exercise, it is a discipline that involves the combination of breath control, meditation as well as bodily postures, also known as asanas. Typically, a yoga class includes all this and much more. On this International Yoga Day, I’d like to bring the focus on mental health. We can go on and on about how Yoga is good for the back or for a flat tummy. Somehow, to me, the whole purpose is lost when you have only certain things in focus. The aim of being fit is universal but often gets overshadowed in carefully crafted marketing messages. With the number of depression cases on the rise, I’d like to talk specifically how your mental health is often overlooked despite being so important in today’s stressed out, social media addicted world.

The benefits of Yoga are indeed many, but why do we still see people unhappy despite not realising they are already blessed?

  1. You are constantly comparing
    It’s natural. Let’s not just blame social media. It happens every time you are in office or perhaps when a relative drops over.  “Why did they book a new house? Why not me?” or ” Why did he get the promotion?” Our reasons to be unhappy can be unlimited. But, did you manage to master your mind while practicing Yoga? Think about the good things or rather, think about nothing. Learn to clear your mind of this habit and you’ll feel lighter every day. You’ll soon start enjoying your exercise routine as you bring the focus on improving yourself rather than getting into self-pity.
  2. Your mind is worrying about the past or the future
    There was a time I used to do that. Often. I still do it. But, not so often. What does meditation do to you? It helps you calm the mind, bring a focus on the “Now”. I can’t say it is easy. It never is. The mind is constantly running. It travels all around the world in a span of 5 minutes. Wow! It’s difficult to meditate even for 5 minutes. But, it’s always better to try than to refuse just because you think you cannot do it. With time, you’ll soon see a difference in yourself.
  3. You are yet to fall in love with yourself
    You know it. The good days were indeed memorable. And, the bad days are kind of, well, let’s say. Sticking around. Not able to shrug it off. You hate your decisions. You hate your work. Hell, you are in a relationship and there’s no love. Or, you may fall in love but can’t be in a relationship. It’s a vicious cycle I tell you! But, your problems will fade away or at least appear minuscule if you learn to love yourself first. You do not need to seek validation from others. You know your talents. A job interview that didn’t go too well cannot dictate the level of your talent. Did you think that perhaps the recruiter may not be well-qualified to judge a position for your post, or maybe you just had a bad day? Why are you waiting for others to appreciate you? Now, loving yourself does not mean being vain. But, before you sink into depression, just give it a thought – is it worth it?
    – do you want to spend the next couple of hours worrying about it?
    – how does it add value to your thoughts?

I have seen my close friends suffer in silence living a life to please others. Why, I might have almost done that too. Yoga or the daily practice of any exercise makes your mind open to other thoughts. Ones that are constantly bogging you down are not doing any good to you. As you learn to practice those asanas and move from one pose to another, remember to unclutter your mind as well. After all, just as our body needs to be constantly challenged, so does our mind. And, we all know an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. So, here’s what you can do:

  1. Read good books. Yep, books. Do not cringe at this suggestion. It helps to read books that add value to your wisdom giving you a broader outlook to life.
  2. Detach from the situation. You do not need to run away from the person or objects or whatever that is disturbing you. Just learn the fine art of detachment.
  3. Focus on things you love. Every time you feel yourself sobbing over unachieved goals or lost love, just do something you like. Watch how your emotions change. Learn to observe yourself very closely.
  4. In a world that is fixated on self, be kind, help others. Help an animal or a human. Do something for someone else. 

All you need to do is, ask yourself, are you true to yourself? Can you look in the mirror and say I am happy where I am? If not, what can I do to make it better?

So, the next time you workout or practice any favourite sport of your choice, remember that there are things beyond the perfect abs or muscles. It’s called a strong mind. A mind that can actually dictate all your choices in life. A mind that has the power to make you push beyond your limits. This mind is a wonderful thing – it can conjure up illusions of weakness or even build stories of strength. It talks to you everyday. Listen to what you say to yourself. 

Have a story to share? How did you celebrate this day?

Do write to me at shopinstilettos@gmail.com

Happy International Yoga Day!

 

This blog is for the “Kadam Chhota, Change Bada!” contest. 

Every change begins with a single step. What significance did this have in my life?

I’ve often faced the ridicule of society from a young age due to certain circumstances. After, all, I was surrounded by judgemental people. But, then, who isn’t? We all tend to judge quickly than we can blink an eye.

It’s not easy for two sisters to be raised by a single mother. At a young age, one needs to imbibe these facts – you are without a father quite unlike traditional happy families and you have to pull your socks up a tad higher than you would like to, however uncomfortable it might get.

Years passed but the questions never stopped. “Don’t you have a father?”, “Don’t you have a brother?,” “Why did he leave?,” and more were thrown in at my face. It’s natural for any 20-something girl to feel overwhelmed. “Does my work not speak up for itself? Does my family tree honestly matter?,” I had no answers to these questions I asked myself then. But, the ridicule that happened behind my back continued to hurt me. Or, perhaps, I let it hurt me. 

Although I worked for the top media houses that published stories on women empowerment, the irony of the situation was uncanny. Unmarried women in the office were ridiculed for being single and gossip was high. Discussions around a woman’s sexual needs to how unworthy she is due to the “unmarried tag” revolved all the time. What did I do? I kept mum. Watched with disgrace. I was told, “You better get married soon, or you will remain single for the rest of your life.”

One fine day, I did get married. Wow! I belonged to this club of “happily ever after”. I can also play housewife, work and no one would trouble me ever again. That’s what I thought. Well, how wrong I was!

4 years and a “healthy divorce” later, I was back to where I started. The questions were being flung in my face. The eyes stared at me with great contempt. Here was an unsuccessful person as defined by society. Why unsuccessful? Oh! You don’t belong to the stereotypical Indian family. #FacePalm

After being subjected to the negative vibes from the society and seeing other women in similar situations, something changed within me one day.

  • I stopped feeling ashamed.
  • I stopped feeling the burden of society.
  • I decided to turn my face towards the sunshine and move away from the darkness.

Most importantly, I decided to bring a change in my thinking instead of trying to make the world understand, hoping some follow suit.

  • Why was I upset? Because I let words control me.
  • Why did I feel I had failed? Because I believed what others told me.

Change of Thoughts

 

Always face the sunshine

A small change in my own thinking brought me immense courage. Today, I hold my head high as I dodge uncomfortable questions with elan and face the world with a smile.

A while later, I realised I had inspired a handful of women to speak for themselves. To speak on this painful subject. To embrace their pain and step ahead in life. With my blogs and personal interactions that delved openly in this subject, I received messages from many other women in similar or worse situations. I was happy to have motivated a handful of women who decided to change the course of their destiny. Or, at least tried to. Now, I also support women who face embarrassing questions in public by taking a stand against people who dare to make personal jibes. I make sure they will never say something on these lines to a woman or anyone again.

Instead of expecting them to understand and change their attitude, it’s best I worked on my response.

Next time, I knew, they will think before they speak.

What was the change I brought about?

Well, it was in my own thinking.  One small step towards the ray of hope. One small step that went against the society. But, brought happiness for me. To change the thinking of the society, you need to be the change. Why should somebody else do it for you?

Every change begins with a small step, whether it’s a change within your family, or the whole country! India’s hero, Padman, had its digital premiere on ZEE5, on 11th May. Don’t miss this inspiring true-life story, only on ZEE5. Download the app and subscribe now. For every subscription, ZEE5 will donate Rs. 5 towards the personal hygiene needs of underprivileged women.

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, so let me get this straight. We have already read enough motivation quotes on Being Yourself and how you are the only person who is unique. Well, this is not a preachy blog but I’d like to bring this topic up due to some experiences I’ve had as a blogger. Influencer marketing and blogging that brings new brands to the fore – these are all a part and parcel of my job. With the filter-perfect photos being posted every single second on social media channels, the competition does heat up. I follow so many people on Facebook and on WordPress and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed with the kind of photos posted – the perfect pout, the red nails, the high heels and of course, the boyfriend always ready to snap a photo of every single moment. (No, not being bitter 🙂 )

Wait a minute. I’m not against all this. I’m a part of it, am I not? This brings me back to my topic. Being Yourself.

Being Someone Else is so Unoriginal

The competition online is getting tougher day by day. You might be having a fantastic loyal fan following built around a bunch of lies through pretty visuals. But, remember, this is difficult to carry on in the long run. This is not to judge people who do have those perfect glossy images, this is about those who try to fake it and then get dejected with the results. Hey, you are unique, so why would you try to be someone else? I interact with a lot of people who may want to wear what I am wearing. It happens to me too. I see this beautiful creation online and sometimes, it just doesn’t look good when I wear it. That’s totally fine. It’s always better to be yourself than to try to emulate someone who is not even remotely connected to your personality.

Build on your Authentic Story

What does your mirror reflect? How you want the world to perceive you or what you want to be? (No filter, no Photoshop photo.)

I’ve shared many things on my blogs and social media sites. It’s not always that I post photos of my buys, but yes, sometimes I do. I get many questions as to the brands I buy or how I manage to put up some looks. There’s something you need to know. A blogger’s life is not always about pretty photos. Hah. I’m typing this in my most comfortable shorts. A majority of my photos are not perfect at all. I feel they are not imperfect either! A friend once called me and gave some unasked advice on the photographs I posted. To this, I can only say. Every person is unique and there’s always a story behind each photo. While I do not expect my readers to understand the challenges, each blogger deals with different issues.

Who are your Role Models?

There are so many people telling their own story. We all have something to share. We all have our unique talents. You might be a fan of a Bollywood actor or a social media star. If you observe some success stories, they don’t care about what people think. I mean, that is exhausting. I do it all the time! I used to worry about the reactions to my blogs. Now, I do what I want to do. I’m sharing two of my favourite social media success stories.

Kristina Kuzmic: A dear friend of mine introduced me to her page when we both were feeling low. Her page shares her struggle with her divorce and life. Currently remarried, with a family of 3 children, Kristina gives hope to many readers. What I love about her? Her sense of humour!

Jay Shetty: He has a large fan following and some of his videos are motivating indeed. I like the way he carries himself with a genuine charm and uses the right content to put forth his message to his followers.

I’ve given you a peek into my thoughts and life as a blogger. If you are aspiring to be one, go ahead and share that personal story. Don’t worry about the no make-up selfies. Have some fun and drop your link in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve always loved doing a job. Not many know that I started out as a copywriter instead of a designer in my hometown, Goa.  A Bachelor of Fine Art was supposed to design, not write. What made me leave that job? Well, there wasn’t enough work happening. And, yes, I felt I have to step out of my comfort zone. What followed were exciting profiles with Pune’s leading media houses as a designer and Infographer, content writer with a start-up and blogger and internal communication specialist with IT firms. The rush you feel when you deliver an assignment in the least amount of time is priceless!

Yet, I am sure there are some people who will identify with what I have to say. I personally dislike pretending to work for 9 hours a day. I mean, how many are honestly focussed for 9 hours? I kind of love my work but there’s someone who will be measuring it in the number of hours. From the business point of view, I understand the entrepreneur’s turmoil. There are not too many people who display high levels of integrity and commitment to show excellence even without being managed.

This I believe is like a vicious circle.

To have your freedom and to ensure people trust you – remember, you have to earn that trust.

That said, I enjoy my work and being a blogger brings me in contact with so many diverse personalities. I see people trapped in their jobs – earning a handsome salary but unhappy. I see people trapped in freelance work – they have their freedom but the commercials might be low. The struggle of blogging is real but the good news is, situations won’t remain the same.

I think we need to take some risks and believe in ourselves to enjoy our work. There will always be that unhappy moment. One can’t avoid that. But, it shouldn’t stop you from chasing your dreams. We all had our share of ups and downs. A blogger’s life is not an easy one, either! You need to weigh the pros and cons to ensure you take the path that brings you true joy. If blogging it is, then so be it.

What have you done differently in your work place or how are you following your passion? I’d like to know!

Top: Orion Mall

Pants: Bangalore Central

Footwear: Sole to Sole, Pune

Fun-time: Priceless!

Creative professional behind the lens: Shounak Kelkar (Follow on Instagram: x.focus)

 

 

 

 


With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air! Or, is it?

It’s that time of the month when the red hearts are out in the window displays. The attention shifts to marketing the concept of love to the ones who have fallen prey to Cupid’s arrow. Well, it goes without saying, I’ve been a ‘victim’ of love.

I’m not against love, mind you! Nor against the hearts and the flowers, chocolates and candies that are flooding my Facebook timeline. What I’d like to focus on is something we all forget every once in a while.

Self-appreciation and the art of self-love.

Love Thy Self? A common concept you might have read about. Have you implemented it? Why is it so important?

I’ve been one of those romantics who literally wore her heart on her sleeve. Blame Bollywood, blame the Television. Wait, did I

blame myself? No, I was in love, remember?

Love is a beautiful feeling indeed. While, we are in love. As always, nothing is permanent but change. Can this love remain constant even when our situations change? Can this love surface when things get difficult? Would you love the same person for the rest of your life? What are the depths of your feelings?

Often, love takes a backseat when responsibilities take over. The smart couples know how to balance it right. The rest? Well, look at the number of incidents where people seek love online. The thrill of it and the privacy provided by today’s modern technology makes finding ‘options’ a whole lot easier! In the fast-paced world, love and technology have merged to make finding love just a swipe away on dating sites.

 

Loving Thy Self

Before you go all dreamy this Valentine’s Day, take the first step towards finding true love.

  1. Know yourself – what are your dreams, motivations, passions? What sets your soul on fire?
  2. How much do you love yourself? Can you look into the mirror and love thyself even with all the flaws?
  3. What is it that you seek in a partner? Are you looking for a relation because you are lonely? Or, is it for companionship apart from the obvious perks of being in a relationship? 🙂

Learn to love yourself first before you let someone’s thoughts crowd your mind. It’s easy to fall in love, but it is equally important to be stable in a relationship. The foundation has to be set from both sides. It’s not a single person’s job to keep the spark of the flame alive. (Ladies, and men – if you are doing that, you are in so much trouble!) You and your partner make up the relation. You can’t find the right partner unless you know yourself first.

So, if you are still single this Valentine’s Day, look into the mirror. Fall in love with the person staring

back at you. The person who has endured so much, is still standing proud. This person who is still single, but is inching closer to the goals. This person who has a whole lot of love, but only for a partner who brings out the best in him/her.

Celebrate Valentine’s Day being you, loving yourself, and others around you.

 

Dress: Insence (Orion Mall), Heels (Orion Mall)

Photos: Mohua Sanyal

 

 

Previously published on Women’s Web here.

This weekend, I had a plan. A plan with my own self. To spend some time knowing myself. Treating myself to some things I love. A trip to my favourite book store. A cool purchase of the light shade of pink lipstick I always wanted. And, ambling through the streets of a new city I now try to familiarise myself with.

Sounds like a selfish plan? To some, it would. Perhaps, a couple of years ago, this would sound selfish to me as well. I would have thought, “really, who does that?” But, people change, and so did I.

After a tumultuous time spend in a toxic relationship bound by the legal papers of the institution called marriage, I broke free and found that the word – DIVORCE, does not always mean the end.

To me, this was the beginning. Of a new me, a new woman who knew she would not settle for anything less than the best. Who knew that being a divorcee can be a happy feeling. No matter the tears that flow, the anxiety and the distrust you start feeling towards people.

You also understand why loving yourself is important and why treating the one person you love, but always forget – YOU, is imperative in your own life.

Who else can do it for you? Your family, your friends, can try for a certain while. But, it’s up to you to figure out the broken pieces and possibly join them together. I know the cracks will remain but treat them like proud scars, because you’ve risked everything while taking a different path. You risked it and got so far. You certainly deserve a treat. Because, you are beautiful, indeed.

How have you treated yourself so far this year? I’d like to know. If you are scrambling looking for an answer, I get the answer anyway. If you haven’t even started, what’s stopping you?

Step outside and treat yourself to every single thing you love. Because, you deserve it more than anyone else. Because, you are you.

 
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